


I’ll only hurt you if you let me

by yourelectriclove



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Isak, Boys In Love, M/M, Smut, Top Even, but cute, isak is stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-24 00:52:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17694455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourelectriclove/pseuds/yourelectriclove
Summary: “Say something”Even couldn’t breathe, his hands were shaking as he gripped the letter, the letter that made his whole world collapse around him, made him have to lie down before he fainted, made his heart fall from his chest safe behind his rib cage, to the bottom of his stomach, it felt like hell on earth.and Isak was crying.





	I’ll only hurt you if you let me

**Author's Note:**

> hello this is just word vomit and I liked it a little so here you go 
> 
>  
> 
> title from miss billie

“Say something” 

Even couldn’t breathe, his hands were shaking as he gripped the letter, the letter that made his whole world collapse around him, made him have to lie down before he fainted, made his heart fall from his chest safe behind his rib cage, to the bottom of his stomach, it felt like hell on earth. 

Isak was crying, he was on the floor in front of Even, on his knees, his hands on Even’s thighs just gripping with a need to hold on to a part of his body, scared if he let go he’d disappear. 

It’s the most innocent situation they’ve ever been in with Isak on the floor like this, and Even can’t even look at him. 

“Fucking- say something Even” Isak is hiccuping, his hands moving to rub the ever flowing tears out of his eyes, but Even can’t, because every time he does try to look at Isak, his eyes mist over with tears and his stomach fills with anxious butterflies and moths raging around causing him to feel sick. 

“Just explain” Even says very calmly, far too calmly because Isak is currently crying his heart out and staring at the letter as if he wants it to burst into flames. 

Isak looks at him, and he can feel his heart beating erratically, he may be so angry, so fucking angry with this boy, but he loves him, he loves him so much when he first read the letter he couldn’t stand up with the thought of Isak leaving, but he also loves him so much he’d let Isak leave, if it meant for him to be happy, because at the end of the day, that’s the most important fucking thing in Even’s life, he’s just pissed off, and he feels betrayed and lied to.

Isak nods, laying his head on Even’s thighs, a sweet thing he does when he’s feeling sad or overwhelmed and needs to come back to himself, Even feels so shitty for making his boy feel like that. 

“I wasn’t applying to them as if I genuinely thought I was getting a place-“

Even clenches his eyes, he knows that’s a lie. 

“Baby, we have been dating for five years, I know when you’re lying, you’re a horrible liar, I’ve known you far too long to tell” Even whispers gently, he’s too tired to argue, too tired to do anything but sleep, he feels worn out. 

Isak looks up, his lip trembling and Even can tell he’s sorry, he looks heartbroken and Even has never seen him cry like this for a long time, Isak hides his emotions sometimes, hates letting people see him cry, he hates coming across at weak.

“I just don’t get it, we moved from Oslo so you could go to uni here, why would you want to go to fucking America- I just don’t get it Isak” 

Even feels like crying himself, he’s already cried today, cried when reread the acceptance letter, cried when he looked at Isak’s inbox in his emails which were on his laptop, cried empty silent tears because his boyfriend was thinking of leaving him. 

“I’m not going, I’m not leaving you, I’m happy here, I’m so happy” Isak sniffs, moving to sit beside Even on their sofa, his hands reaching up to wrap his fingers gently in Even’s hair, his eyes shining and his cheeks red. 

“My professor suggested I apply to this program, like a paid internship for lab students, he said it was a great opportunity” Isak continues, his voice sounding smaller as he explains, he’s not lying, and Even can finally meet his eyes. 

“So you were thinking of going?”

Isak shakes his head, his eyes closing. 

“I just wanted to see if I could do it, if I’m good enough for them to accept me” 

Even is left sort of speechless, he shouldn’t be this angry, he shouldn’t. 

He can’t help it, he thinks Isak would feel the same, if the tables were turned, Isak would be ballistic. 

“I’m taking a walk, just to clear my head a bit” he says gently, always gentle. 

Isak’s eyes fill with more tears and they cast downwards, the tears falling down his cheeks rapidly again.

“Don’t leave me” Isak sounds frantic again, his hands shaking as he reaches out, he grips Even in a tight cuddle, his tears falling into Even’s neck. 

He can’t resist, needs to comfort him, so Even tightens his arms around him, rubbing down his back and kissing at his forehead, he smells like his raspberry shampoo, faintly of Even’s cologne and Even inhales, he’s the most precious, most valuable thing Even has to show for. 

“I will never leave you, ever, I just need space, and you need to calm down, so do I” Even tries to reason with Isak, he pulls away, wiping away his ever flowing tears slowly, can’t resist leaning down to steal a kiss. 

Isak whimpers softy, his eyes shutting and his breathe stuttering, he grips onto Even’s biceps, his head tilting up to make their kiss deeper, his mouth opening for Even, it’s desperate and wet, mixed with Isak’s tears and Even’s love.

Even doesn’t want to turn this into anything else at the moment, but he lets Isak climb into his lap, let’s his hands wander across Isak’s body, tracing the marks and skin, beautiful skin, he knows so well, let’s the kiss turn hard, let’s Isak pull at the back of his hair, let’s Isak shuffle up until he’s pressed right against where Even is most sensitive, he rolls his hips and gasps wetly into Even’s mouth, his eyes closing and his head tilting back. 

Even can’t resist really, he’s weak when it comes to anything to do with Isak, can’t help but wetly kiss down his neck, he lips and teeth and tongue showing Isak why he shouldn’t leave him, why he fucking can’t, he himself is getting desperate now, he grips Isak’s jaw and moves his head to the side, cherishing the weak moan that Isak lets out, let’s his teeth bite down and then lick over the mark starting to appear on his pretty skin. 

“You’re not leaving me” he whispers, his hot breathe masking over the mark he just left, it makes Isak’s skin tingle he can tell, Isak shivers opening his eyes and looking straight into Even’s eye. 

“Never” he says so sincerely, his thumb and long fingers making soothing circles across Even’s cheeks. 

“Never baby” 

That’s all Even needs, all he needs as he flips Isak’s body over, he’s small, so easy to handle, feels like a baby as Even cradles the back of his head so he doesn’t hit it off the sofa arm, lifts his hoodie over his head because he’s suddenly too fucking hot, he throws it behind them, moving onto Isak’s clothes. 

Isak groans at the sight of Even’s bare skin, his hands dancing over the faint abs, tracing the v-line that has got more prominent in the five years they’ve been dating. 

“I love you more than anything, so so much” Isak’s sweet words make Even more desperate, he lifts Isak’s legs over his thighs so they’re spread, grips the hem of his sweater and pulls it up with mastered class. 

“love you more, so much, you don’t fucking understand baby” Even groans lowly, leaning down he starts kissing every inch of skin he can reach, every precious inch he can’t find with his lips. 

“You’re not allowed to leave me, I’ll die Isak, I won’t know how to live, how to- how to god damn breathe” he leans his forehead against Isak’s, breathing deeply, their breathe mingles and their eyes meet, it’s like a spell has been cast around them. 

“I’m so sorry” Isak finally whispers, his hands on either side of Even’s face, his legs wrapping around Even’s waist and he belongs there. 

“I know” Even replies, his lips kissing over Isak’s again, because it’s true, he can’t tell he’s sorry, and he doesn’t want to play this out more than it should be.

The night ends with them on their bed, their sofa is far too small for Even to do what to wants to do with Isak, and there’s no way he’s giving them both backache and messing up their pillows with cum when they’ve got a perfectly good bed, besides, they only fuck on the sofa when they’re in a rush, when they’re both desperate and Even can bend Isak over the arm and lift his hips up and just fuck, it’s great and hot, but he wants to do this properly tonight, he thinks they both deserve more than a quick ‘pull your jeans down baby, bend over” fuck. 

Isak is a work of art, a god amongst humans in front of Even’s eyes. 

His legs are thrown over Even’s shoulders and his nails and digging little loving crescents into Even’s shoulder blades, no matter what anyone says about this position, it’s definitely his favourite. 

Call him a love struck, settled down, old married man, but there’s nothing better than seeing Isak, touching Isak, being able to kiss him, whisper into his ear and see his reactions all whilst making love to him like this.

His thrusts are hard and with intent, his hair is hanging down and pants leave his lips as Isak tightens around him just so, Isak can’t keep his eyes open, and he can’t keep his mouth closed. 

They’re both sweating buckets, Isak has tears in the corner of his eyes, when he opens his eyes for a second to look at Even, Even can see them. 

When he knows Isak’s about to cum, he reaches for his boys wrists, trapping them above his head, he leans on them with one hand for balance, as he fucks into Isak’s body harder. 

Isak almost screams, his legs and thighs shaking and twitching, Even is whispering words of praise into his ear, licking at the damp skin of jaw, his neck, his cheeks, anywhere he can reach. 

“close yet angel?” Even says lowly, his own body shaking with pleasure, Isak nods fast, his hips lifting to meet Even’s hard thrusts, he’s not a magician, not some kind of sex beast, but he knows where Isak’s spot is, and he aims to hit it every two thrusts or so, after five years he’s become an expert in Isak’s body, outside and inside. 

He knows he’s hitting that spot when Isak gasps, his eyes roll and his back arches, his hands move from where Even has them pinned to Even’s hair, he pulls and pulls, scratches at his scalp like he can’t help himself, his voice is hoarse and weak, little soft words and gently pleads leaving his lips. 

Even thrusts harsher, until Isak is lifting off the bed with every one of them, his curls bouncing, his nails digging into Even’s skin. 

“Cum all over me baby, show me what I do to you- for me angel” Even says lowly, his own words broken. 

Isak squeals, his thighs trying to close like he still has those virgin instincts he had when they first got together, Even pulls them apart with his hands, watches as Isak twitches and moans, his cum painting Even’s chest, over his happy trail, over the top of his thighs, it’s mesmerising. 

Even keeps going until Isak is shaking, his hands scratching at his own thighs, his fingers pressing against his sore rim where Even is still stretching him open. 

He cums with his lips pressed to Isak’s ear, his mind blank with love and pleasure as he praises and praises Isak until he can’t hold himself up anymore and he collapses on top of him. 

Isak just curls his arms around him, rubbing a hand through his hair, ignoring the sheen of sweat and cum and lube and probably spit that’s covering them. 

For the first time since this morning, when he found the horrible letter, Even closes his eyes, rests his head on Isak’s shoulder, kisses his skin gently, thanks god that they’re both too tired for anything but rest, and he sleeps. 

-  
“That was definitely baby making sex” Even has to stop himself thinking these things when he knows it’s impossible, and Isak would probably smack the side of his head for thinking about children when they’re both just finishing their degrees and they can’t even keep a plant alive at the time being, but it doesn’t stop him from saying it. 

They’re both currently in the shower, Isak is scrubbing down his torso with a loofa and Even has the great job of ‘making sure all your cum is out my ass Even, it’s hot at the time but now it’s gross and sticky’ 

“Have you forgot the part where I’m a cis gendered male babe?”

Even laughs, turning Isak around and wrapping his arms around him, his hands moving down to squeeze at his soft ass. 

“No, but admit it, if you could have a baby, we’d be so pregnant right now” Even raises his brows, Isak rolls his eyes playfully, a soft smile on his face non the less. 

“Why are you bragging about how you can’t pull out?” Isak teases his hands running over Even’s shoulders, his face tilting him with a playful smirk. 

“You’re the one who complains whenever I do pull out, excuse me!” 

Isak giggles, washing the soap out of Even’s hair. 

“you just want me to admit I like the way it feels when you cum inside me” 

Even shrugs, enjoying the feeling Isak scrubbing at his scalp. 

“I mean it definitely wouldn’t bruise my ego” 

“Your heads big enough already” Isak tuts, squeaking as Even pins him to the shower wall, his eyes shining. 

“You’re on the way to sleeping on the couch tonight angel” Even says lowly.

“You’d miss me too much” 

“You’re absolutely right, forget about it, you’re not leaving my side” 

“I think I can handle that”


End file.
